


too real too fast

by orphan_account



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, Humor, No Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 17:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9000700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Prompto. FMK: Cindy, a chocobo, Noctis."





	

**Author's Note:**

> i love roadtrip simulator 2k16

"Alright!" Prompto props himself up in the seat, turning so they can speak easier. "You first, Your Highness."

"Huh?" Noctis is frowning, and Prompto catches him in the act of sliding an opened, taste-tested Ebony into Ignis's cupholder. Then the prince stretches back, leaning purposefully on as much of his seat as possible.

"You first," Prompto repeats urgently, afraid that Noctis is prepping for another nap. "Hit me with it!"

"Alright, alright... Let me think."

Outside, the woods are getting thicker; earlier there was a family of wild chocobo on their left, but Ignis refused to stop at Wiz's because of the rain and the urgency of today's mission. They must have packed up camp two hours ago, and they've been on the road for what feels like four, and Gladio has a book and Noctis can sleep anywhere and Prompto has been bored out of his mind.

Prompto hums in wait, his head supplying, _I want to ride my chocobo all day…_

"Got it," Noctis says, finally. "Prompto. FMK: Cindy, a chocobo—"

" _Dude_."

"—and… Hm."

"Aranea?" Prompto is hopeful.

Noctis shakes his head. "No, too easy. How about…"

Gladio, who Prompto had figured was so absorbed in his book he had tuned out Noctis and Prompto's adolescent stupidity, puts in, "How about Noct?" He shoulders the Crown Prince as if to remind them of who Noct is.

"Sure," says Noctis, a high schooler's amusement tugging at his lips, the mischief of late nights in his apartment glinting in his eyes. "Cindy, a chocobo, and me."

"You guys serious?"

"Yep," says Noctis, and Gladio nods from behind _The Lucian and Me_. Prompto never noticed the title before.

"Okay, okay, I got this." Prompto slides back into his chair and closes his eyes, imagining each of the candidates and hurriedly whispering arguments to himself. There's no way he could kill the chocobo or Noctis, but he couldn't kill Cindy, either, _no way_ , ugh, "Wait, okay, are we doing 'K' for kill or for kiss?"

"Might I suggest," Ignis pushes up his glasses, "kill with a kiss?"

"I like that," says Noctis, nodding. "What Ignis said."

"Okay. Okay. Oh man, I'm gonna need some time to think about this."

"Think carefully where your loyalties lie," advises Gladio.

Prompto switches off the radio, needing his thoughtful silence. At several points the debate grows fierce in his head—he's decided, he thinks, who he will have to kill with the kiss, but the marriage and the fucking is fucking him up right now.

Gladio taps him on the shoulder.

"I'm still thinking!"

"Ssh. Take a look."

Prompto turns, slowly. Noctis is sleeping again, head tucked into Gladio's shoulder, mouth parted enough to emit a soft sound every time he inhales. Prompto snaps a pic.

"No need for that," Gladio says then, winking. "You were given the option to wake up next to it every day. Choose wisely."

Prompto swears he hears Ignis laugh. "Quit mocking me! FMK is a serious decision!" He's loud enough that Noctis stirs, but, comfortable, refuses to move from his position, only rubbing at his eyes and wondering boredly, "Why are we still _moving_? How much longer?"

"Noct," Prompto says urgently, "I have a follow up question."

It takes Noctis a few blinks to meet Prompto's eyes with alertness. "To what?"

"The FMK."

"Are we still on this?"

"Yes. Noct, is Lady Lunafreya, um, in the picture?"

"Holy shit," Noctis says, and sits up to stare accusingly at his bodyguard. "This is getting too real. This is why Specs is my advisor and not you."

"I've no doubt you've been featured in thousands of schoolyard games like this without your knowledge, Noct."

"That doesn't make me feel better."

"I _meant_ ," Prompto presses, "you're _betrothed_ , and if I get in between you two _you'll_ kill _me_ , so what I'm asking is—"

"The King of Lucis," Ignis provides, "may have as many spouses or concubines as he deems fit."

"Holy shit," repeats Noctis, and curls up to the window as Gladio considers aloud whether Noctis's potential marriage with Prompto would be considered polygymy or polyandry. "I'm going back to bed."

"No, wait, then I've decided!"

"This should be good."

"Kiss slash kill Cindy. Um, marry Noct."

"..."

"And…"

"You chocobofucker."

" _You_ said there's no wrong way to love a chocobo, _my Lord_. Now, Prince Noctis! FMK: Me, Gladio, Ignis!"


End file.
